Who Cares

So what, I tried to be her friend, Every time we got close to each other we did something terrible..

and now we are no longer friends..

I guess that is understandable..

I mean, I would do the same...

-G

The Loss of A Friend, And a new chapter in Life.

Today I have lost a friend of mine,

Someone who I hurt
Someone who I made cry..
and someone when ever she thought I cried, she felt so bad that she wanted to go back to the drawing board and figure everything out again..

I have hurt My Best Friends Feelings,
I Have killed them from the inside,

And I have lost her...

But This is not the end of times,

This is just the closure that I needed,

Sure, I wanted to be her friend and she never could understand How I work..

How I wanted her to be happy

How I wanted her to be away from me

But I could never realize that those solutions, would only cause pain and suffering to the both of us,

How when time comes around, we are always just thinking and waiting for that oppertunity..

But oh well.

A Door has closed in my life,

An oppertunity that I sadly will be never able to attempt again.

Something that deep in my heart i Desired, and was obbsesed with was gone.

The Cancer is gone from my body and is now forever taken away from me.

But how can someone just tear themselves away from another..

How can one just shoot a friend in the face just to make themselves happy,

In a world that is as self conscious as ours is.. you would think that life would send us to be with out friends,

To help them when they are down,

To hold them when they are crying..

Why Does when one person needs someone to hold, Take advantage of them just to prentend they were another.

It is just life that demands it.

Life demands attetion,

Life Demands that attraction

And Life Kills anything to get what it wants,


This person also had an obbsesion, and obbsesion so bad that it causes them to stop whatever they are doing just so they could fly as far away as they can to see the person they are obsessed with.

Life is this obbsesion, the goal.. to finally settle down in the crazy world that is life and figure things out..

I am not there yet.


I ruined things for some people and I have hurt others feelings, but I know in the end everything will be okay..

One person, Who decides to end a freindship because they feel like if they did, it would make them fall in love again is wrong.

It is wrong to assume such great in-justice...

It is the sad truth in life as in with humanity,

The Good never do win,

But I was never good in the first place.
The nice never win.

But I was never nice in the first place.

All I did was mix my feelings and in turn, hurt Around one hundred lives,

My Two Best Friends

All of my co-workers,

All of my Family,

And all of the people that Have ever meant something to me, and for this I am sorry.


Life is a silly thing

Rather you like it or not you are on this rollercoaster by yourself, untill you find that one crazy person,

That one person who thinks like you,

Wants to be with you,

Wants to hold you in the sunset to look at the stars at night,

Wants to do anything to go to you,

And That is life..

And My Friend is finally doing this..


To Her I seem bitter, But I know in my heart I am happy for her.

Happy she is finally attempting to see things on her own.

Happy she is once again on the right path of things,

and happy that she will be happy for the rest of her life..

And that makes me glad,


To her right now (She would never read this I assume)
She would not belive anything That I said,

I am a lying cheater,
I have nothing to do with people
all I have ever done is hurt peoples lives.. but thats not how it works..

I only cheated untill I met her,

Untill I finally found something that made me happy for a very long time.

Something, that even though we will not talk anymore, will still make me happy and belive how great fortunes I have had to be with someone so determined, so happy, and so in love before..


So as you said to me, tonight, while I was work, SO I could not see it,

Good Bye My Friend,

Hope life treats you the way you want it...

Because for me, mine is just beginning, and yours is finally trying to find a resting place,

And I hope you are enjoying it..

-G

Why it hurts..

For the past few months, I have been trying to get over many things,

How I hurt someone..

How someone hurt me

how I commited Emotional Suicide on myself in an attempt to be happy when in the end, all I was going to get was more pain and suffering which is something I did not want..

But, all of this does not matter.

Sure every day for the past 3 months, I have been broken, I cant do what I used to be able to do,

Its hard for me to study without thinking about it..

its hard to me to go to work without thinking about it..

Its hard for me to live without thinking about it..


In just plain old simple terms... It sucks....

But I know one day I will get over the basic pain..

Knowing that I was happy once, with someone that I truly did love..

But I know it will still hurt me when I am alone and old and Grey..

This sucks..

-G

The First Post... and my Attempt at Bloggin

Hi Everyone...

Or Whoever even reads this..


So, as life has grown tougher and tougher for me, i need another way of expressing my feelings in another medium..

Through Poetry....

Through Art and Pictures....

And Through the Grand Screenplay which is a metaphor for my life and the struggles of others....

But Anyways for now this is a hello,

Hopefully, Once a Week, I will update this blog with something about my week,

But Hey Whatever... Life is crazy you know...

So yeah Lets begin with the basics..

My Name is Gary..
I Live in Alaska...
I am Curentlly Confused about everything..
And so on and so forth..

I work at a movie theater...

Yeah
So Thats the Basics so lets get into bloggin territory shall we?